I think the main outcome of this blog is to tell anyone, that acceptance is your biggest but most important battle. From then on, you can seek help.
Writing this I’m hesitant. Boarder line personality disorder. No bloody clue what that was when I was diagnosed with it; when I read up about it, symptoms include... - Struggling to hold personal relationships (intense but unstable) - Emotional Instability - Compulsive lying - Impulsive behaviour Honestly, I read this and thought “wow, I’m just a little shit bag and describes my tragic history of relationships well”. So what on earth do people think who haven’t been diagnosed with it.
Even now, writing this; one of the symptoms of this conditions is compulsive lying. So I’m sitting here questioning myself; am I being dramatic. Is this a lie? I’m still not at comfort with my diagnosis. It’s another label I have over my head that will restrict me. My closest friends and family don’t know (well now they will lol, please don’t ask me about it in front of people lol (this is how uncomfortable I am with it!!). And I kinda want to use this to say I’m sorry for not telling you. My friends at Loughborough are my family, they are my get away. I appreciate you.