I can’t stress enough how you should get help if you feel as if you have mental health problems.
Trigger Warning: Reference to Self-Harm
Before university, I was generally a shy and introverted kid. When I did speak, I was told by friends that I would say the weirdest things, but its just because I had so many emotions and words flying around my head at once. Once I arrived at uni, I had a complete shift in personality. I became outgoing and loved every part of freshers, but all the while I felt like I wasn’t… me. I felt like I was faking who I was. Being alone in my room for days at a time combined with the pressures of study, and nothing for me back at home I increasingly began to shut myself out. I would skip lectures and stay in my room all day. My emotions grew out of control. I would contemplate suicide multiple times in the day and during this period I would hear voices and see figures in the night. I’m sure my flatmates would have heard me screaming a lot.
Alcohol was the catalyst for me. It exaggerated all of these negative emotions I was feeling, and I would end up going crazy or trying to commit suicide on nights out [thank you so much to the people who helped me get home safely]. But I would carry on going out despite the risks. It resulted in me hurting myself badly on two occasions – one of which landed me at Leicester hospital, and believe me, treks to Leicester are not the one.