My life is no longer completely flooded by depression, it is simply a small part of me that I’ve learned to accept and can still be happy alongside.
TW: References to Self-Harm and Suicide
I have always forced myself to seem bubbly and happy but since i can remember, ive struggled with mental health problems and used to see myself as ‘different’ to other people because of this, negatively judging myself compared to my perception of others. I’d been in and out of counselling since i was in primary school and nothing ever seemed to help.
The realisation that I was comparing myself to the version of other people that they chose to show to the world really helped. I had been hiding how I truly felt, so why would others not be? Coming to terms with the fact that so many people suffer from similar issues is one of the reasons why I’m no longer ashamed about the things I feel and think. Being able to talk openly about dark days and times where you feel low is something that I have found has helped me so so much.
I recently passed the milestone of not self-harming for 3 months; the longest that i have ever gone without relapse and in June, it will be 5 years since I got out of intensive care after attempting suicide.
Since then, I have definitely struggled but looking back, I am so happy and so grateful to have gone through the dark patches that i have in life because it has let me appreciate all the good things that have come since.